Thanks to astounding technological advances, it has never been easier in the history of civilization to keep in touch with friends. There are natural barriers that make maintaining connections challenging, from attending new schools to changing jobs to moving to new neighborhoods. Our digital worlds have removed time and distance as obstacles. But, while most of us follow dozens of people who may have slipped from our memory before the age of social media, we rarely reach out to them even though they’re only a few clicks away. We should be enjoying the Golden Age of Friendship, but we’re not.

I explored this paradox while researching and writing my book, “Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections.” I talked to more than 100 people of different ages, economic and racial backgrounds, and gender identities. I listened to their most intimate, vulnerable stories about their friendships. I asked about their friendscapes — how they gravitate toward certain friends over others as their mutual interests and passions evolve. I consulted academics, researchers and mental health professionals. I learned that even though friendships are just as crucial to our well-being as romantic and familial relationships, we do not organize our lives to include them regularly. We lack the language to discuss these bonds. We apply the ambiguous heading of “friends” to our entire social circle, which doesn’t account for these relationships’ varying degrees of closeness. We also struggle with articulating our wants and needs to one another. But we can change that. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to understand modern friendships.

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The post Let’s Make This the Golden Age of Friendship first appeared on Sevenelles.

Carl Jung believed that making progress toward happiness was built on five pillars:

1. Good physical and mental health
2. Good personal and intimate relations, such as those of marriage, family, and friendships
3. Seeing beauty in art and in nature
4. A reasonable standard of living and satisfactory work
5. A philosophical or religious outlook that fosters resilience

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“Sisu” is a concept and way of living that has been interwoven into Finnish culture for more than 500 years.

A psychology expert shares how to incorporate sisu into your life in three steps:

1. Find a purpose outside of yourself.
2. Increase resilience through training.
3. Be gentle with yourself and connect with nature.

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The post Finland’s Happiness Mindset: Three Steps to Achieve “Sisu” first appeared on Sevenelles.

Now let’s turn to the East. Buddhism, Taoism, the Advaita Vedanta school of Hinduism, and other schools of Eastern thought have quite a different take on the self, the ego, or “me.” They say that this idea of “me” is a fiction, although a very convincing one. Buddhism has a word for this concept — anatta, which is often translated as “no self” — which is one of the most fundamental tenets of Buddhism, if not the most important.

This idea sounds radical, even nonsensical, to those who are trained in Western traditions. It seems to contradict our everyday experience, indeed our whole sense of being. But in Buddhism and other schools of Eastern thought, the concept of the self is seen as the result of the thinking mind. The thinking mind reinvents the self from moment to moment such that it in no way resembles the stable coherent self most believe it to be.

The great success story of neuroscience has been in mapping the brain. We can point to the language center, the face processing center, and the center for understanding the emotions of others. Practically every function of the mind has been mapped to the brain with one important exception: the self. Perhaps this is because these other functions are stable and consistent, whereas the story of the self is hopelessly inventive with far less stability than is assumed.

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The post Science Agrees with Buddhism: There is No “Self” first appeared on Sevenelles.

For centuries, human beings feared the sea. “Any 17th-century European pirate could tell you terrifying tales of sea monsters dwelling in the dark waters,” Adee Braun wrote in 2013. “A pirate was about as likely to swim in the sea as a pilot is to jump out of his plane.” And the beach, “as the gateway to the sea,” wasn’t very compelling either.

Braun went on to explain that beaches remained largely empty until the 18th century, when the English began to investigate the possible medicinal effects of the ocean. Cold sea water was introduced as a “wonder drug” for the ailments of British high society. And the rest is sandy history.

Nowadays, beaches are well-established sites of luxury, but in recent years, Atlantic contributors have started to question whether oceanside holidays are actually any fun. Last year, the writer Lauren Groff made a compelling case for the “psychological torment” that kicks in if you start to think about the unintended consequences of a beach vacation on the surrounding environment and place.

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The post Is the Beach Actually Any Fun? first appeared on Sevenelles.

For six years in a row, Finland has ranked No. 1 as the happiest country in the world. And having lived here my entire life, I’ve learned that finding meaning in life boils down to five words: Make yourself meaningful to others.

You can do this by opening yourself up to deep connections with both your community and your passions. Here’s how:

1. Live for yourself, not someone else’s expectations.
2. Become an expert and share your knowledge.
3. Practice random acts of kindness.
4. Be a good neighbor.
5. Embrace quiet time together.

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The post Meaning of Life: Make Yourself Meaningful to Others first appeared on Sevenelles.

Two decades ago, a landmark study led by psychologist Robert A. Emmons sought to understand how people benefit from gratitude, a question that scientists had rarely explored until then.

Dr. Emmons’s findings — which suggested that gratitude may improve psychological well-being — inspired a spate of additional research. To date, numerous studies have found that having a grateful outlook, “counting one’s blessings” and expressing gratitude to others can have positive effects on our emotional health as well as on interpersonal and romantic relationships.

In addition, some studies, but not all, have shown that gratitude can benefit physical health.

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The post Science Shows: Gratitude is Good for You first appeared on Sevenelles.

Contemplating your mortality might sound morbid, but it’s actually a key to happiness.

On September 18, 2007, Randy Pausch faced a packed hall at Carnegie Mellon University to give his last lecture. The popular computer-scientist professor, beloved by students and colleagues, was not retiring or moving to another university. He had terminal pancreatic cancer, and had been given just months to live.

Pausch not only showed no sign of sadness but was so filled with energy and joy that he could barely contain himself. At one point, he dropped to the floor and performed a set of one-armed push-ups. “If I don’t seem as depressed or morose as I should be,” he said, “sorry to disappoint you!” His lecture was a celebration of life and love, to be shared with friends and co-workers, as well as with his wife and three young children.

Perhaps this sounds delusional to you. Or maybe you imagine that he was acting. I believe that Pausch was putting on a masterclass in happiness by leaning into the reality of his own death. And even if your own death is not imminent, you, too, can do this—and get happier.

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The post Think About Your Death and Live Better first appeared on Sevenelles.

There’s no shortage of emotionally draining news these days — whether it be an abundance of layoffs or more evidence for rising rates of burnout. But as we enter Mental Health Awareness Month this May, we might all benefit from the advice from someone who is not only an expert in wellness, with eight decades of medical experience in the field, but also someone with 103 years of life experience.

Dr. Gladys McGarey is often called the mother of holistic medicine, and is still going strong and actively consulting as a physician. In her new book, The Well-Lived Life, she shares her secrets to a century of health and happiness.

Here are four of her secrets that can become your personal strategy toward a life well-lived.

1. Choose love over fear
2. Build your own thriving community
3. Be a student of the world
4. Spend your energy wildly

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The post Happiness Really Comes Down to Four Simple Strategies first appeared on Sevenelles.

Widespread loneliness in the U.S. poses health risks as deadly as smoking up to 15 cigarettes daily, costing the health industry billions of dollars annually, the U.S. surgeon general said Tuesday in declaring the latest public health epidemic.

About half of U.S. adults say they’ve experienced loneliness, Dr. Vivek Murthy said in an 81-page report from his office.

“We now know that loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It’s like hunger or thirst. It’s a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing,” Murthy told The Associated Press in an interview. “Millions of people in America are struggling in the shadows, and that’s not right. That’s why I issued this advisory to pull back the curtain on a struggle that too many people are experiencing.”

The declaration is intended to raise awareness around loneliness but won’t unlock federal funding or programming devoted to combatting the issue.

Research shows that Americans, who have become less engaged with worship houses, community organizations and even their own family members in recent decades, have steadily reported an increase in feelings of loneliness. The number of single households has also doubled over the last 60 years.

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The post Loneliness Poses Risks as Deadly as Smoking first appeared on Sevenelles.