Article Summary:
Michal Leibowitz’s opinion piece in the NYT explores the changing dynamics of parenthood and generational attitudes towards having children, focusing on millennials and Gen Z. Inspired by Philip Larkin’s poem “This Be the Verse,” the author examines why younger generations are increasingly hesitant to become parents.
Multiple factors contribute to declining fertility rates, including economic challenges, career priorities, climate change concerns, and societal shifts. A key underlying reason is the heightened scrutiny of parenting through a therapeutic lens, where childhood experiences are increasingly analyzed as the root of adult psychological struggles.
The narrative highlights how modern culture has expanded definitions of trauma and abuse, creating nearly impossible standards for parenting. Therapeutic language has permeated popular culture, with social media platforms proliferating content about childhood wounds and intergenerational trauma. This has led to a trend of adult children more readily cutting off relationships with parents for perceived emotional shortcomings.
Ironically, parents today invest more time and effort into child-rearing than ever before, yet still face criticism. The parent-child relationship has transformed from one of mutual duties to a more one-sided expectation where children feel entitled to judge their parents’ performance.
The author’s personal experience, including struggles with an eating disorder and subsequent reflection on her parents’ love, provides a nuanced perspective. Her pregnancy becomes a turning point in understanding parental sacrifice and love.
Ultimately, the article suggests that having children is becoming an intentional choice rather than a societal default, reflecting broader cultural shifts in how we view family, personal responsibility, and intergenerational relationships.
Article Excerpt:
“There are few decisions more fraught for members of my generations — the cusp of millennial and Gen Z — than whether or not to become a parent. In 2023 the U.S. fertility rate fell to a record low. Some of the decline can be explained by a delay in having children or a decrease in the number of children, rather than people forgoing child rearing entirely. But it still seems increasingly likely that millennials will have the highest rate of childlessness of any generational cohort in American history.”
“There are plenty of plausible explanations for the trend. People aren’t having kids because it’s too expensive. They’re not having kids because they can’t find the right partner. They’re not having kids because they want to prioritize their careers, because of climate change, because the idea of bringing a child onto this broken planet is too depressing. They’re swearing off parenthood because of the overturning of Roe v. Wade or because they’re perennially commitmentphobic or because popular culture has made motherhood seem so daunting, its burdens so deeply unpleasant, that you have to have a touch of masochism to even consider it. Maybe women, in particular, are having fewer children simply because they can.”